These past few months I had been so narrow-mindedly focused on getting rid of the storage unit, that the clutter surrounding me has been invisible.  It is a strange phenomena that when stuff is piled up against the wall, and I don’t have the energy to deal with it, the stuff kind of blends in with the wall and I don’t see it.

Had to change my approach to that which remains in the storage unit.  Moved the last of the unsorted friend’s boxes out of the house and back into storage, so that there are only things here that I own, not mixed with anyone else’s stuff.  The frustration of having the friend’s boxes here was making me ill because it’s out of my control.  Had to separate it from my sight for now.

Once my focus on getting rid of the storage unit was relaxed, my attention began to involuntarily re-focus onto the local real estate market.  Why?

1. I don’t like living in someone else’s house.
2. I have a stable job and my credit is good.  Small house/condo may be affordable.
3. House prices have stopped climbing in the past year.
4. First time home buyer’s tax credit this year, up to $8,000.
5. Owning property is a hedge against inflation that may be triggered by recent increases in government spending.

So I’d been near-obsessed with learning all I can about buying land, houses, condos, and also new construction.  The little house that got me interested a year ago is also not sold yet.  Learned a lot but it’s not productive to just research for hours every day without a plan.  The obsession has to stop and my eyes must open to the things stacked up on my floor that still need to be dealt with.

Goal for this weekend – pick out at least five things to offer on Freecycle.  Get them out the door this week.

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

I’ve been thinking about this lately, especially the part about accepting things I can’t change.  The pressure to clear my friend’s boxes out of the storage unit is self-imposed. Nobody is forcing me to worry about it.  The stress caused by this pressure isn’t healthy, and maybe I should let it go.  Just accept that right now I can’t deal with all the things stored for other people.

I have eight boxes in my bedroom that I intend to work on sorting through, but can’t get started on them.  Let go of the need to solve this problem, and move the boxes back into storage.  Accept that I’ll be renting that storage space long term.  Once those boxes are out of sight I can refocus on my own things here at the house.

A key principle of clutter creation is saving things for later.  Examples:

• Getting mail, looking at it once, then putting it on a pile of papers to deal with later.
• Buying a book that looks interesting, even though you have no time to read it, figure you’ll read it someday soon.
• Recording a TV show that you can’t watch right away, putting the tape with your library of things to watch later.
• Skimming through email subjects, intending to devote time to reading them all later.  Hundreds of unread emails building up.
• Buying a set of pots and pans for the new larger kitchen that you hope to have someday.
• Getting new clothes that don’t fit, so you’ll have something to wear when you lose weight.

It’s good to plan for your future, but … come on!

The mail could in theory be handled right when it comes in.  Open it, pay bills, file paperwork.  But that requires the energy and mental focus to deal with it at any time, which for me is rare.  I get mail after work, burned out from the day’s effort and only have energy to look at the envelopes.  If the energy is there, the focus may not be – because of the distraction of the mess and piles of things I’m responsible for doing.

Just wrote my check to pay for renting the storage unit for May.

Somebody shoot me.

I read an ebook today that has a great quote in it.  The author wrote that someone once said to him, “Letting go is really hard, but not as hard as holding on.  You let go once.  You have to hold on all day every day.”

I have two bicycles stored outside in a shed.  Sometimes I think about selling one or both of them.

The 10-Speed.
Not used in a really long time, more than 20 years.
Would need many new parts: tires, chain, brakes, cables, handlebar tape.
Sturdy high quality design – was solid last time I used it.
My first adult bike!

The Mountain Bike.
More comfortable ride.
Nice features like: index shifting, oval gear ring, removable wheels.
Light weight, wide tires.
Bought it in the late 80’s, so this is my “new” bike.

Haven’t been out bike riding in a few years. If I get back into it, I’d have one of these two older bikes rebuilt instead of getting a new one. You know, I had not realized how long it’s been since I was bike riding. I used to do it at least a couple times a month during the summer. I stopped about two years before I started my weight loss so that means it’s been six years since I used them!

Three options:

1. Face the fact that I’m not interested in bike riding anymore and get rid of both bikes. If I decide to get back into it someday in the future, get another bike at that time.

2. Sell the mountain bike and fix up the ten speed.  The mountain bike was worth over $500 when I got it, so it should still have some value.  I’d like to ride the ten speed again, and have been thinking about fixing it for a really long time.  Is this just nostalgia?  Unsure if it would still be a solid ride after all this time, even with new parts.

3. Give away the ten speed (not worth selling in present condition) and fix up the mountain bike.

Last weekend I finally summoned the energy to pack up the friend’s stuff that was scattered around this bedroom to dry. Put it all in new cardboard boxes and they went back down to the basement. Not sitting on the concrete floor this time! So all of that chaos is out of sight now.

Sunday I had the time and motivation to actually go to the storage unit to see if the flooding last month got in and damaged anything there. The floor was dry, so that’s a relief.   Brought back another box to sort through, and also my old ironing board.

The ironing board used to belong to my Grandmother, and it’s a good sturdy metal one that they don’t make anymore.  There is some rust on the bottom now, and paint was peeling in one spot.  I can’t part with it, even though I don’t iron my clothes.  Reorganizing my wardrobe was a project to simplify my life – I only wear clothing that does not need to be ironed.  Still can’t let go of the board.

As a packrat/hoarder, my mind was ruled by stuff because it was everywhere in my life.  Now that I am striving to become a minimalist, strangely my mind is still focused on stuff.  The difference is, instead of being overwhelmed daily by the “visual noise” of the piles of junk, my mind naturally drifts to thinking about what I actually need/want and what I can do without.  But I’m still thinking about possessions.

I wanted to be free of this, to no longer be trapped by physical items.  The hope was that getting rid of things would lead to the freedom to learn, travel, create art, meet people, and generally enjoy life.  Maybe that’s not true.

Ten days ago I was sitting with a pad of paper, trying to organize my thoughts on how to approach the clutter caused by the damp things spread out to dry.  After I while I just wrote: “At the end of today I want the bedroom to be in a state where I can leave it as-is for one week.”

That was accomplished.  It was all consolidated in one area, half-packed boxes stacked up along one wall.  Shoes, books and things piled underneath card tables.  The chaos was still present, but contained.

It occurred to me today that I didn’t feel motivated to finish packing the dry stuff back into boxes and storing them.  It’s not as offensive now to see these things, compared to when they were damp and musty.  As if the stuff is blending into the landscape of clutter in the bedroom, so that I am not seeing it anymore.  Soon I’ll need to pack it up so I can reclaim some floorspace.

I want to upgrade my computer.  But it worries me.  Where will I put the old computer?  Where will I put all the stuff that comes with a new computer?  (disks, books, cables, boxes)  How will I consolidate all my data so it can be transferred and then backed up?

Data, like objects, have been collected by me and saved for a long time.  I still have text files that were downloaded to a Commodore 64 from a BBS using a 300 baud modem!  Also most things I’ve created on computers – including programs written in college that won’t run on any system I have now.  I did throw away the paper printouts of those old school projects, but I probably still have the data files.

I have all the pictures taken since I got a digital camera.  That collection is getting pretty big now.  Data takes up little physical space, but there are media like CDs, DVDs, Zip disks, flash drives, external hard drives.  That crap takes up real space.

Years ago I had a massive set of keys that I carried everywhere.  The size of my key set was an indicator of how complex my life was.  My belief was that my life would be streamlined by letting go of the need to hold so many keys.  It has been simplified a great deal since then.  Right now I have four keys on my key ring.

1. car
2. house
3. mailbox
4. storage unit

I used to drive a Plymouth that had separate keys for the locks and the ignition – so I carried two keys for one car.  My current vehicle uses one key for everything, which I prefer.  There’s a keyless entry gadget too, but I hardly ever take it along because of the bulk and the batteries don’t last.

The mailbox key I really don’t need to carry with me because it’s only used once a week.  But I do like to have all my keys in one place so they’re easier to keep track of.

The storage unit key will be gone after I stop renting the unit, hopefully this year.  Going from 4 to 3 keys will be a significant improvement!

No fob.  I stopped using a key fob to make the set lighter.  I just use a simple metal key ring.  Also stopped carrying junk like a little jacknife, flashlight, screwdriver, etc.  Just keys on the key ring.