Medical lie leads to a truth

Listening to a radio talk show about health care today.  The host read about a study where there was a group of people who all had the same life-threatening disease.  There’s no current treatment for the disease.  Half of the group were told that there was nothing that could help their condition.  The other half were told that science was only 6 months away from an experimental cure.

The study was about how people react to having hope for a cure.  It turned out that the half that were without hope were happier!

They were forced to come to terms with the harsh reality that their days were numbered.  By letting go of hope for a possible cure, they saw each new day as precious, and valued a day as much as they used to value a year before they were ill.

Hope, like worry, can be a burden.  Both are expectations for an uncertain future.  It can be freeing to release it.

Why minimalism is better, Part 1

One reason a hoarder keeps everything at home is that it makes them feel safe.  All objects are kept because you might need them someday.  It’s reassuring to know that if you need a tool or a part of something you can pull it out of your piles of stuff, instead of having to deal with the uncertainty of trying to get it from somewhere outside your control.

I believe that being a minimalist – choosing not to keep any extra things – improves the quality of a person’s life.

An example:  Someone visits me after shopping and has a bag of loose leaf tea they want to try.  She asks me if I have a tea strainer to borrow.  If my minimalized kitchen has no tea strainer, this forces a decision.  We can go out together to shop for a tea strainer, or we can go without tea and drink something else.  Either choice is more interesting than just pulling one out of a drawer.

It may make a person feel more powerful or secure to be prepared for any possible situation.  (You need a strainer? BAM! THERE IT IS!)  But it also makes that person’s life boring.

If you can think of a better example of this idea, please comment.

My Bad

Looked at the spam folder in this blog for the first time in six months, and found a few actual comments! Apologies to anyone who thought I deleted their comment, they have been approved now. I also had an invitation to talk to someone about being on a TV show, which I am thankful for, but I won’t be doing that.

Move the stuff to ditch the storage unit?

Had an idea this week about how to get rid of the storage unit this year.  The unit contains stacks of cardboard boxes that belong to a friend.  I am continuing to rent this space after I moved my own things out of there, because I don’t have a place to put the friend’s boxes.  That is, I don’t have a place to put them inside the house where I’m staying.

SO here’s my idea.  There is a large shed (tiny barn) in the back yard, containing lawn mowers, garden tools, picnic table, bicycles, etc.  It’s not a good environment for storing cardboard boxes because small animals and insects get in there, and it can be damp when it rains.  What if I buy some kind of metal or plastic cabinet that can be assembled inside the shed?  Then I can place the friend boxes inside this sealed outdoor closet, and finally get rid of the storage unit!

I’d have to spend money to buy the cabinet, assemble it, and then haul all the boxes over to the house.  The expense would be offset by not having to pay the monthly rent on the storage unit.  Of course this doesn’t get the friend’s boxes back to him, it just delays the real solution to the problem.  Also I’d be buying a large garden storage shed that I’d have to deal with when I move from here.

Visiting the Unit

This weekend I was out doing errands and had some time before a store opened.  So I was driving around aimlessly and ended up going to my storage unit for the first time in four months.  I’ve been avoiding it because of the powerless feeling about getting rid of the stuff in storage.  This summer I focused on other things at the house.  Made awesome progress there, although not (yet) down to the ideal of “desk plus 5 boxes”.

Anyway I was afraid of feeling overwhelmed by the sight of the boxes stacked up there.  Today I did not feel overwhelmed.  The stacks seemed smaller than I remembered.  Maybe because I didn’t go there to work on sorting?  I had something in the car to drop off and another thing to find next time I was there.  Got that done in a couple minutes.

Just a visit today.  But I know this has to be dealt with at some point.  I still want very much to get rid of this storage unit, but have no other place to put those boxes.

Next Door Potential

Last year a small house next to where I live went on the market.  It never sold, but did inspire me to spend lots of time researching real estate.  Owning property would complicate my life, and would also increase my freedom.  I’ve learned a lot about the buying process and have watched the local market for the past year.  Still I am living in a rented bedroom in someone else’s house.  I want to move (someday) but don’t have to.  For sure renting a room is less expensive than buying a house, even a tiny house.  Honestly at this point am kinda sick of all the research time and effort.  Decided that I am fine with shopping for a home next year, passing up on the “first time home buyer” tax credit for 2009.

Now I find out that the small house that got me interested in the subject is going back on the market!  The owner cleared the overgrown yard and brought in a crew to fix up the interior.  Even fixed up it’s not a great house.  Foundation needs work and the outside walls are sagging.  It still needs serious work or maybe even a rebuild from scratch.  The heart is tempted to bid on it just so I can be independent again – but the brain is pretty sure that would be a mistake.

Minimalist Experiment

Tonight I am going to be traveling to another town to see a show and meet family members for dinner.  I’ll be staying overnight at a hotel and returning the next day.  Because I am so focused on “stuff” there’s so much worry in my mind about what to pack for the trip.  Trying to predict which items I’ll need to have with me to handle anything that might happen.  Preparing a mental list of the things I usually pack for any trip.

This time, in order to test myself, I’m thinking about not packing.  It’s only one night away.  I haven’t been to this hotel before but I assume they will have towels, soap, tissues  that I can use.  There is no need to pack up a miniature version of my bedroom to take with me.

One of the most powerful minimalist sayings I know is “Let go, and trust.”  For this experiment I’ll let go of the need to have my stuff represented on this trip, and trust that I’ll find what I need or will be able to make do without it.

I will not take my laptop computer, although I will take my iPod.  I will not pack clothing outfits or extra shoes, but I will take along a second shirt to put on tomorrow morning.  I want to bring a toothbrush, but maybe I can do without a hair comb.  So I will have a little bag, but not a heavy carry-on bag.  We’ll see how it goes!

Book Pile Staredown

Found a group of books I was willing to let go of.  Some hardcover and newer softcover ones, probably worth $80 total if they were new.  Monday I took them to work and put into the donation box.  Walked by the box on a coffee break and saw they had been taken somewhere and the box was empty.  Had an “OMG THEY’RE GONE” moment.  I was okay with it, although it did feel strange.

Over the next two days I felt inspired to find more to donate.  Books were pulled out of their storage boxes – on my desk, bed, and a card table.  There were four major groups:

1. Reference
2. Want to Read
3. History – personal and family mementos
4. Favorites – mostly fiction

If it’s reference, can I give away the book and look the info up online or in a library when I want it?

If it’s #2, how long have I been keeping it to read?  Some have been in storage for more than ten years.  Would I be terribly disappointed if I never got a chance to read them?

History items should be ranked in order of importance, and then maybe I can toss the bottom two.

Why do I keep a favorite book that has already been read?

• to read again someday
• identify strongly with the characters
• makes me feel comfortable to see it

Is that feeling in the book itself?  Would I stop feeling that way if the book was no longer in my life?

This week has been like a staring contest between me and the books.  I sit in a chair and look at the piles.  I sort through them and move books from one pile to another.  I pick up one book and leaf through it, then pace back and forth because I can’t decide and then put it back down.  Who will blink first?  I’m afraid that would be me.

A favorite book is in my collection because I may want to re-read it in the future.  The question is, how much is the storage costing me?  I enjoyed it in the past, and it’s being saved for a potential future that may or may not happen.  I think back to my storage unit, which costs a monthly rental fee that is way more money than the stored things are worth.  Is the peace of mind that I am losing by looking at the book clutter costing me more in the long run than the trouble I’d have to go through to find the book again?

Donations

Some things I have held onto for a very long time, recently was able to let go and give them to a church fair.  I put them in the box of donations, and even then could not believe I had done that, perhaps thinking of just taking them out again, restraining myself and letting them stay.

Telephone – This was the last wired land-line phone that I had.  A nice quality AT&T phone in perfect working order.  The house where I’m staying had a cordless phone system installed a couple years ago, so it went into storage.  I probably kept it this long because I’ve been using it since the early 1990’s, and it could potentially be used as an emergency phone in case the cordless phones stop working.  But there are other phones in the house to use in emergencies.  I also have a mobile phone which is my main number.  So this telephone was not necessary.

Clothes Iron – The old metal ironing board from my Grandmother’s house is still here.  But I decided to let the iron go.  It was not something I chose – the iron was given to me when my Mom got a new one for herself.  Most of my clothing was chosen partly because it does not require ironing.  If I start ironing clothes again someday I’ll get a new one.  Maybe now I’m closer to being able to give away the ironing board?

The pile of audio tapes I had set aside for donating went to the church.

Also, just found out that someone at work is collecting books to sell as a fundraiser for charity.  When I read the sign I thought about my “on the cusp” pile of books that I still want to keep but would not be devastated if they were gone.  I decided while I was at work that I’ll just donate the whole pile.  Not looking at the books helped to make the decision.  Never finished reading some of them, but I really don’t have room for them all here.

It seems easier to give things away if they’re going to benefit a church or raising research funds to fight a disease.

Bound By Books

Because of my recent success in sorting through the old audio tapes, this weekend I felt ambitious enough to try to sort my books.

Books are the hardest things to let go of.  I have very few fiction books.  Most of them are collected for a purpose.  For example – at one time I wanted to learn to sail a boat, so I have books on learning to sail, biographies of famous sailors, outfitting a boat for living aboard, how to survey older boats, etc.  These books are research material that I believe will help turn a dream into reality.  Getting rid of these books feels like I am giving up on my dream.

There are philosophy books related to principles that I believe in.  The implication is that getting rid of the books means my values have changed.  I know this isn’t true, of course.  But the feeling that a book is connected to a dream or belief is why I keep all my books.

The approach I started with was to sort them into four groups: To Keep, To Donate, To Sell, Not Sure.  Goal is to reduce them to the most essential books that cannot be replaced at any price, hopefully to fit in one banker’s box.  They had been boxed up for a year and a half.  Looking through them reconnected with the memories, beliefs, feelings, and dreams.  Only found ten I could let go of.

The next day I began to realize that the trouble in letting go is caused by this connection to things that I wanted to do someday in the future.  So I made a list of “dreams” and wrote them on index cards.  Also had cards for fiction, must keep, sentimental value, and other.  I placed the cards around my bed and table, then sorted the books into these categories.  The new goal was to sort them and then pick 2 or 3 books from each category to keep.

Tried to use the OHIO technique (one handle it once) but some were shifted around three times.  At the end of the day the keepers were down to about two boxes full.  Had a nice donation pile and a sell pile.  During the day I created a new pile called “the cusp” – for books that were somewhere between must keep and can go.  I’ll let this pile sit for a week or two, and maybe I’ll be able to sort it again and let most of them go.

A lesson learned: giving away a book does not mean that the knowledge within is being erased from the world.  In fact, passing it on means someone else can read it and share the knowledge.  If I need the information again in the future, I can probably find it.